Butter-pants-ka-chou

Kenny had the worst luck with butter this past weekend. Friday night, we went out for dinner. We ate at the Ore house (insert lame, perverted jokes here-I sure did). Our server walked behind us and dropped her basket of bread and butter onto Kenny's back. She casually picked it up and went on her way. No sorry. No apologies of any sort. Just a nonchalant oops and away she went. I looked at his back to wipe the bread crumbs and their was a huge clump of better on his back. I cleaned it off, all the while our server walked by again and watched me, not saying a word. Then, on Saturday, out to dinner again. We ate a lot that weekend. The boys had an amazing Cajun dinner where they just put paper down and pour all your food onto the table. Crab, corn on the cob, sausage, and shrimp. It looked delicious. I wouldn't actually know if it was though. There is something about food being served directly on the table that turns guys into cavemen. I didn't dare try to stick my hand in there for fear of it being ripped off. Some random guy came over to clean up and when he was getting ready to leave he dropped an entire ramekin of melted butter on Kenny's pants. Oh, sorry. Sorry-was all he said as he made his way to the trash with the remains of what started as dinner. Kenny's left pant leg was completely covered. Completely. You could tell he was really annoyed but was trying to keep his cool. He went to the bathroom and soaked it, but 5 minutes later it reemerged with a vengeance. Hey, butter-pants-ka-chou (Usually he is referred to as Shoo-Shoo-ka-chou. Long story.), do you want to go grab a beer? Oh man. I hope this name sticks.

This sign offers very good advice

This past weekend Kris, Patrick, Kenny and I headed down to Durango. We just wanted to get away for the weekend. On the way there, you have to drive through Wolf Creek Pass. Not the worst pass in Colorado, by any means, but not the best either. There were these huge brick walls along the side of the road, up against the mountain. Their purpose is to catch all of the falling rocks. There were some insane boulders caught by those walls. We were just driving along talking about falling rocks and how none of us have ever been hit by one. I mean, really? Who ACTUALLY ever gets hit by a falling rock? In the middle of a sentence, BAM! What the H was that? A basketball sized rock smacked into the rear passenger side door! What are the freaking odds? 2 seconds faster and we would have missed it completely! The dent was not as bad as you would think, but it was still totally crazy that it even happened! It could have been a lot worse, so all in all, it's a good thing that it hit there of all places. Great, now we can add that to the list of "Stupid Things I am Afraid of". That damn list gets longer every year!

Coconut Cake with 7 Minute Frosting

(I will be gone tomorrow through Sunday, so this is getting posted a bit early. Deal with it.)

I made this cake for Kenny's birthday dinner this Wednesday past. I can't believe he is turning 30 on Sunday! I will have known him for 9 years come April 27th. I met him on his 21st birthday right before his drunken debauchery (which I did not attend because I was 17). Cradle robber.

If it makes you happy

Me: So, I ordered the most adorable reusable grocery bags last night. I am so excited to use them!

Kenny: Wow. That sounds like a big waste of money. They are free at the store.

Me: Yes, but that is very wasteful.

Kenny: I really don't see the point.

Me: Well, they make me happy, so that should be enough. I don't see the point of your stupid remote control helicopter, but it makes you happy. That's enough for me. Plus, I won't break a part on my reusable bags every time I use them making me spend even more money like you do with your helicopter.

Kenny: That is true.

Lauren-1
Kenny-0

Green, but still trendy

Did you know that approximately 380 billion plastic bags are used in the United States every year and about 100 billion of those are plastic shopping bags. Only 1 to 2% of bags end up getting recycled. That means that 1 million plastic bags are used and discarded worldwide every minute of the day!

Since it was Earth Day yesterday, I felt I needed to add another "earth friendly" thing to my list. I consider myself a relatively green person, but I can always do more. Every little bit helps!

I have been meaning to get some reusable grocery bags for a while now. But, every time I am at the store, all they have are the ones with the specific store's name on them. Sorry, but I don't want to tote around a King Soopers bag at the farmers market, or wherever. I am too shallow for that-I fully admit it. After searching for a few hours, I came across these. They have a few different styles, but I decided on the retro kitchen set.

I am very excited to use them. Hopefully, they aren't delivered in a box the size of a house, stuffed with Styrofoam peanuts...

Update: I got them and I LOVE them! To top it off, they were delivered in a very small recycled envelope-brilliant.

HAPPY EARTH DAY

Our bioceta toothbrush is made with natural bristles and biodegradable cellulose acetate, a natural substance extracted from cotton. Bioceta degradation is compared to that of an oak leaf.

Awesome. So, what you are telling me is that this amazing toothbrush decomposes in less than 6 months, so by purchasing this product, I am helping the environment. Regular toothbrushes can take decades to decompose and 50 million lbs. are thrown away every single year. I was sooooo excited to order this toothbrush after reading about it in this month's SELF magazine.

I went home today for lunch to find a package at my doorstep. Here's the thing:

1. The package was about 12x5x5…..for a TOOTHBRUSH
2. It was stuffed with paper
3. The toothbrush came in a PLASTIC package that does not decompose as fast as a oak leaf, not even close.

The only thing that could have made this worse is if the package was stuffed with styrofoam peanuts!

So, I decided to write to Acca Kappa (Yes, I was bored) to see if I was hopefully mistaken.

Acca Kappa,
I was just wondering if your plastic packaging for your environmentally friendly toothbrush is also as biodegradable as the toothbrush itself.
Thanks,
Lauren
______________________________
Hi Lauren, The case is not as biodegradable as Bioceta, but we are in the process of changing the toothbrush packaging to a recycled paper.
Hope this helps!
Russell
_________________________________________
So, what you are saying is I may as well have bought a regular toothbrush without the excess packaging....no difference.
L

I have not heard back from them yet.

Are you, or aren't you?

One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone says they are going to do something, and they don't. The fake grass in our front yard is desperately in need of some sprucing up. Yes, FAKE grass. I don't want to talk about it...anyways, I found a guy who said he could fix it. He came out on Monday to check it out. I spoke with him last Wednesday and he said he would be out later that day to get it done, weather pending. Well, of course it snowed that afternoon, so I expected a no-show. Fine. Thursday or Friday, the latest. Well, the rest of the week came and went, and I received no call from the grass guy. So, being the person I am, I called him just to get a timeline on when he thought he might grace us with his presence. I was super nice on the message I left. No response. I was going to call him today and tell him if he didn't show up by Wednesday, not to bother-to shove it up his butt. He called me this morning and acted like I was supposed to know he would just show up whenever he feels like it. I asked, "Well, what day do you think, maybe, you will be able to do it? Just curious." He told me he didn't know, one day this week, probably. Is is just me or does anyone else think I will be lucky to ever see this stupid man?

UPDATE: He came over and did a HORRIBLE job. Instead of a slight hill, there is a ledge. Instead of sidewalk, then grass-it goes, sidewalk, SAND, then grass. He cut it back too far. What is wrong with people and their work ethic??? (I should talk.....I am sitting at my desk, at work, writing a blog)

Banana Pudding

I L.O.V.E this recipe! My good friend, Nicole, gave it to me one day and I make it whenever I can. Everyone loves this super quick and easy dessert! The only thing with this is that you need to make it right before you serve it (within a few hours). The cookies will get soggy and the bananas will brown if you make it the night before. I use the low fat or fat free version of pretty much everything and it is still delicious!

What month did this happen? Careful...

1. I woke up to birds chirping and decided to wear a tank top because it was gorgeous outside. For lunch, I went to Wahoo's and sat outside on the patio. Even got a little sun. I didn't need my jacket the entire day because the sun was shining. It was about 75 degrees.

2. I woke up and looked outside to see about 5 inches of snow. I called work to see if there was a delay because of the slick roads. The dogs had to be pushed outside because they despise the cold weather and it was about 15 degrees out. I was almost late to work because I had to scrape the 2 inches of ice off of all my windows.

1. This Monday past
2. TODAY

I am really ready for spring and nicer weather. This is crap.

Their parents must have hated them

These are a few names I have come at work. What is wrong with people?

Lemonjello and Orangejello: Pronounced Lem-ON-jillo and OR-on-jillo. Yes, Orange Jello and Lemon Jello.

Shithead: Pronounced Shi-theed

Flagina

Phat Ho

Minny Mouse

Greendimes.com

Check out this really great site that I found! www.greendimes.com
It was created to give you a choice about what gets into your home's mail box, and what doesn't. As the trusted leader in stopping unwanted junk mail, they've worked hard to develop effective, long-lasting processes and procedures that really can cut junk mail by up to 90%.

Oh, Lauren

There are many many times every week, that Kenny just does something, well, Kenny-like. The statement, "Oh Kenny." is said every time, mainly because there are no other words.

I, myself, have had a few of these moments. One randomly popped into my head today. We were at Patrick's house one weekend, just hanging out. They all decided that they wanted to cut their hair. I, being the closet hairdresser that I am, said I would help. I didn't want them looking like fools using clippers on themselves. Longer spots here and there. Thank God for them that I was there to assist.

After Kenny was done with as much as he could do on his own, he asked me to help get the spots he missed. No problem. I thought that first, I would shave his neck and get all that grossness off. Onto the rest of his hair.Guard.was.still.off.the.clippers. I went for the spot right in the front, a little to the right. OhmyGodI'msorryI'msorryI'msorry. I just stopped. Kenny sat there in silence, like if he didn't acknowledge it, it didn't happen. It was an area about 3x1. My eyes welled up with tears (I am NOT a cryer). As soon as Patrick saw, he started laughing hysterically and making fun of me and poor Kenny's head. The more upset I got, the more they made fun of me.

For a good week, we would put mascara on the shorter area to "fill it in". You don't realize how well thickening mascara works until you really need it.

For some reason, Kenny still let's me help with his hair. What a trusting fella. He does, however, make sure I do his neck last.

Peanut Butter Banana Chocolate Chip Muffins

I have decided that I am going to make Friday recipe day. Here are some amazing muffins that I found on another site (Thanks Danielle!). I made them last night and they are awesome! You are welcome.

Peanut Butter Banana Chocolate Chip Muffins

(Cooking Light)

2-1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 cup sugar (or Splenda)

1/2 cup packed, golden brown sugar

1 Tablespoon baking powder

3/4 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon cinnamon

2-3 large, ripe bananas, mashed-enough for 1-1/4 cups banana

1 cup milk (I used 1%)

3/4 cup smooth peanut butter (I used reduced fat)

3 Tablespoons canola oil

1 teaspoon vanilla

1 large egg

1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips (or chunks)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees

In a large bowl, put together, flour, sugar, brown sugar, baking powder, salt and the cinnamon; combine. In another bowl, combine mashed bananas, milk, peanut butter, egg, oil, and vanilla; mix well. Add this to the dry mixture previously prepared; mix just enough to combine. Stir in chocolate chips. Spray muffin tins with cooking spray and fill tins until almost full. This will make 12 perfectly sized muffins. Bake for 25 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean.

Still happily married

Kenny sticking each tiny little square to the wall. I stopped just long enough to take this picture.

Do you think he would let me get away with not helping?

Done! Even the dogs are tired...

Well, I am happy to say that Kenny and I will not be getting a divorce after last night's project which, by the way, consumed 2 1/2 hours of our life. I never want to see another little tiny organic square decal again, but other than that we're good!Kenny only talked to me like I was 4 once. I rolled my eyes twice. He pushed me out of his way a few times, only to have me push back. The words, "Do you want me to just leave and you can do this yourself?" only left my lips one time. I almost destroyed about 4 columns of squares by making them all stick to eachother, but Kenny saved the day.

I was going to count every single square so I could say how many I touched. Yes, we had to rub EVERY SINGLE SQUARE off of the backing paper onto the wall.

UPDATE: Bought it here! By the way, this entire site is amazing! http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5226382

Divorce worthy?

I ordered a really cool wall decal for above our bed last week. It was delivered today. I am really excited to have it up, however I am a bit scared about putting it up. It is 8 1/2 feet wide and I would say there are about 1 bajillion little tiny squares to stick to the wall.

I may or may not be getting a divorce after this is said and done. I see yelling and bickering about whether or not it is straight and if the air bubbles are all out in the very near future.

I'll let you know.

Near and far

Sometimes I don't really think this is the life I am supposed to be living. I am truly grateful for everything that I have, but I just feel off. I want to help people, really help people. I want to travel. I want to drive around in an RV. I wanted to go to New Orleans after the hurricanes. I want to go to Africa and help out wherever I am needed. I want to buy one way tickets to places far away and just discover and explore with no sense or urgency on needing to get somewhere else. I want my life to be an adventure. I want to wake up and wonder what great things I will see and experience. I want every day to be full of surprises. I want to give myself, entirely, to a cause. I want to live my life to the fullest and have no regrets. I want people to be proud of me. I want to do it all with Kenny.

First of many bumps in the road

So, today we started on the backyard. I will make what is sofar a very long day and very long story, kindof short. Kenny, Patrick, and Jeff began at 8am this morning. We had a 20 yard dumpster in the front of the house and Patrick's tractor was ready and willing. 1st dumpster, filled. Tried to call Waste Management to pick up/empty/bring back. Closed on the weekends. Grrreeeeat. Called anyone we could think of and finally got a hold of a guy who sounded less than pleased with what we were asking him to do. Filled dumpster gone. New dumpster delivered. Awesome-now we can get everything done. Wrong. 2nd dumpster filled. Now, ofcourse no one will answer their phones, so we are done with concrete until Monday. Slight glitch in the plan. Forms were supposed to go in on Monday for the new concrete. That is now pushed back to Tuesday. Old fence is currently sitting half torn down and blowing in the wind. Three people have been injured by the tractor. I have made two successful meals. The girls have been shaking out of fear all day. Can't wait to do it all again tomorrow. Have I mentioned how pleased I will be when this stupid project is done?

Yes, that second picture is the tractor heading directly toward the house...and me. I was terrified when they were doing that. I could just imagine them running straight through the sliding glass door. I closed the blinds-problem solved.

From drab to fab, hopefully

(Before Pictures-Duh)

So, we are going to start on our backyard this weekend. I cannot even explain what a chore this is going to be! Basically, we have to completely start from scratch. Yes, the house has been there since 1979, but someone, somewhere decided to give up on the backyard and everything went downhill from there. I know a lot of people do landscaping and upgrade their yards, but I really feel like we got the short end of the stick on this one. There are random rocks and plastic sheeting where it used to be completely rocked. There were sprinklers at one point, until someone decided to close off the area where the pipes came out from the crawl space. Completely sealed. The fence on the left is falling over (do NOT even get me started on that conversation with my neighbor). Oh, and our yard slopes the wrong way. Yes, we have to make our yard go in a different direction-piece of cake. Kenny and Patrick jackhammered every piece of cement on our property on Wednesday. We are saving about $4000 by doing this part ourselves. The new concrete comes next week. Kenny says they put 12 hours in on it. He lies. He said, that together, him and Patrick worked about 6 hours on it=12 hours total. Whatever. I am pretty sure that is not how that works. So, this weekend, Patrick is bringing his tractor to our house and all the concrete is going to be put in the 20 yard dumpster that is currently sitting in front of our house.
I, myself, really cannot do much, so I have taken on the role of Stepford wife. I will cook and clean up after the boys and make sure everyone has a beverage at all times.

If anyone wants to help, you know where we will be...

Date nights are pricey nights

Kenny and I decided to have Monday night date night this week. We went out to dinner and then the plan was to go to a movie. I have an infinite hatred for movie theatres these days, so I pretty much vetoed that as soon as it was suggested. They smell funny, people talk too loud, etc. I would rather just rent a movie and watch it at home. Anyways, I digress...
We decided to go look at new beds. Look. Get a feel for what is out there. Ours totally sucks. Every morning we wake up with some new pain or body part that has fallen asleep. I have not figured out if it because our bed sucks or if it because we are getting old. I am obviously going with the first. Well, looking turned into buying and we are having our new king sized bed delivered to us tomorrow afternoon. It is amazing and I am so excited I can barely stand it! This is kindof like when I went to Honda to buy a new heater/AC knob for the Accord($8) and we left with a new Element(not $8). Kenny and I do not do well "just looking". It's a problem we have.