I am so telling on you.

My mom is coming over to the house after work tonight to hang out with the girls. Yes, she is my dog babysitter. I feel awful leaving them alone all night after I have been at work all day. Ok? Back off. I was talking to Kenny on the phone and told him that my mom would be over around 5.

K: What? Why? I just cleaned the floors.

L: She is coming over to hang out with the girls. What do the floors have to do with it?

K: She is going to mess them up. She's messy. (My mom has made me into the insanely anal person I am today. True, she is a lot more relaxed then she used to be, however.....)

L: How? How is she going to mess them up?

K: She just will. I just cleaned them.

L: I am so telling on you.


My eyes hurt, my head aches

Sorry for the lack of posts! Work has been beyond insane this week. I guess what I am trying to say is that I actually have to do my job. There are less then half of us here so the remainder of us have to pick up the slack. My days are flying by, but I leave with the worst headache in the world and my carpal tunnel acting up. Fun times.

On a side note-our 2nd wedding anniversary is in October and I am planning a very fun trip! All Kenny knows is that we will be gone from October 16-19. Hooray!


What is wrong with you?

Oh my God. What is the matter with people? I came across this today. Tell me Diva Thin Muffin doesn't sound perverted. I am in awe.


Mile High Music Festival: Part II

This post would be rated "R" but I decided to censor it. I am sure you will be able to figure it out.

The five of us had put our bags in a pile on the ground during Petty. We were all standing around them. They had our phones, cameras, and nice sunglasses in them. Pretty fragile cargo. This girl was trying to leave and walked right towards us. She was getting ready to step right on our bags…

Me: Oh, hey. Can you please walk right here? We have bags on the ground. (The way I asked her to go was like 10 inches to the left.)

Dumb Beotch: I'll walk where the F I want to walk.

Me: Oh.

She then started to walk onto our bags when Alanna and Brie shoved her back. The girl went flying back. There was a cute little mom behind her and I didn't want her to be squished (This beotch was a BIG girl) so I grabbed her arm to save her from falling.

Dumb Beotch: Why the F are you pushing me? Why the F are you pushing me?

Me: I caught you, you dumb B. Why would I hold onto your arm if I pushed you?

She turned to Alanna and started yelling at her asking her why she pushed her. One thing led to another and the girl was walking away and then turned around and spit on Alanna. It got on my cheek and hit the other girls too. OMG. That did not just happen. I have never been spit on in my life and don't understand why anyone would do that! Alanna grabs the girl and rips her shirt while throwing her to the ground. Right on top of our bags (and some saucy dumplings). The girl gets up, guys are holding her back from going after us, and the guy next to me steps in front of me to block her from me (aaaaw, so nice). She finally gave up and left.

Yikes. The whole time I was just thinking, "Ugh. I really do not want to get into a fight. I really like this dress."

Sunday was much more uneventful. We did not even try to sneak any booze in and no fights broke out. The weather was a lot more tolerable and, overall, it was just a more laid back day. We got to see:
Brett Dennen
Ingrid Michaelson
One Republic
Rodrigo Y Gabriela
John Mayer
Dave Matthews Band
I wanted to catch the Black Crowes, but we missed out. I am still uber disappointed about that. I also have a new found love for John Mayer. I have always thought he was an amazing artist, but never really liked him beyond that. What was I thinking? He was so great live and quite the looker! Never knew! I am pretty sure he has been working out or something. Who knows. Who cares. I love him.

If they make this festival an annual event, I am there. A ton of fun.


Mile High Music Festival: Part I

The Mile High Music Festival was this past weekend. It was an outdoor two day event with 5 stages and a ton of bands.

Friday night, we decided to go and buy some shooters to bring into the festival. Obviously, liquor was not allowed. This is where the genius happens. We had a few different boxes of snacks: Cheezits, Rice Crispy Treats, Etc. We opened the box of Cheezits, pulled the bag out, put 3 shooters on the bottom of the box, put the bag back in and then resealed the box. GENIUS. We had 3 more shooters and no more boxes, so I decided that I would roll one up in my towel. Lacey put the other 2 in her jacket pockets. She rolled up her jacket and put it in the backpack. Fast forward to Saturday morning. We get to the front of the line where they are checking bags. The women tells me to pull out my towel. Fine. I am holding it, still rolled up, while she looks through my stuff. Then she asks me to unroll my towel. Ccccccrrrrraaaaaaaaaap. Whatever. What else am I going to do? I unroll and my little bottle of Malibu goes rolling towards the gutter. She sees it and then puts her arm above her head and starts point and yelling, "This one tried to sneak in alcohol! This one right here." She was trying to humiliate me. Didn't work. Then she tells me to stand right there and she is going to call someone over. I said, "No, that's ok." and walked into the festival. Then, Lacey was getting her bag checked by the same stupid woman and she pulled her jacket out. One of the pockets was open and another shooter fell to the ground."This one right here! This is what I am talking about. Watch out for this!". This women was taking her job way to seriously. She thought she was this amazing booze catcher, but she didn’t even get half of it. Suck it lady. We win.

We made our way to the main stage and found a great spot. We put our blankets down ready to camp out. Over the course of the day we saw:
Stephen Kellogg and the Sixers
Gaven Degraw
Citizen Cope
Tom Petty
It was insanely hot outside and pretty much impossible to keep hydrated. I have never sweat so much in my entire life. I honestly do not understand how people could drink. It was the last thing on my mind. I also did not smoke anything, but am pretty sure I was high half the day. The entire place had a cloud of smoke lingering about the crowds. Every single band was great, not a bad one anywhere. There were a few lame people throughout the day, pushing their way closer to the stage. Nevermind that many of us had already been there for hours making sure we had a good spot to see Petty. They didn’t care. Tom came on around 9pm. He was amazing. We were enjoying the show when all of a sudden…..


Buttermilk Pie

Last Thanksgiving, my mom and I went to my Aunt's house in Fort Worth, TX. They had this pie ready and waiting. We don't have buttermilk pie here in Colorado, and I'm pissed. It is so good! Healthy? Not in the least. But, frankly, who puts the words healthy and pie together?


This is what we argue about

Me: I am headed up to Denver this weekend to go out with Alanna, Lacey and Brie.

Kenny: You are headed down to Denver?

Me: What? No, up to Denver. It is north of us.

Kenny: But, it's lower in elevation, so you are going down to Denver.

Me: That is a ridiculous way of thinking of things. Pretty much anywhere we go would be "down". (We are at about 6500 ft. here in C Springs)

Kenny: Right. Shouldn't be hard to remember then.

Me: (Rolling eyes) Whatever. I am going to Denver.


I meant positive motivation, jerk

I told Kenny that I need him to motivate me to run and ride our bikes more. I always have the intention of doing something after work, but by the time Kenny walks through the door an hour after I've been there, all I want to do is hang out and make dinner.

On Sunday morning this is the first thing I heard after I woke up. This is not what I meant by motivation. "Good morning. Quit being lazy. Let's ride to Kim and Brad's." Um…..Lazy is lying on the couch all day watching tv and eating pizza. Lazy is not waking up at 7:30 in the morning and barely having my eyes open. Then, on our bike ride, we had to go up the biggest hill in existence of the world. Ok, fine. Not the biggest hill in existence, but I hate hills. I hate them and we cannot avoid them. There are hills all around this stupid town. Big hills, little hills. They taunt me. We went up a small-ish hill and then around a corner. There it was-the stupid ginormous hill. I looked at it and told Kenny I was going home. I didn't want to do it. He glared at me and said, "Quit being a baby." I went up the damn hill, although I walked my bike up most of it.

When we got home, I had to clarify what I meant by motivation. Being a jerk and calling me a lazy baby is not the way to get me to do things. He said, "Well, it made you go up the hill, didn't it?"


Rebelling pants and a recipe

Have you ever had those days where getting dressed, or even ready in general, is such a task? I could not do it this morning. Putting pants on, ugh. One leg in, and then the other. What a chore. My hair, frankly, is a disaster-up in a ponytail with a bandanna to hold back my stupid bangs that are still growing out. And, picking out a shirt? I don't even know if I match. I don't even care.

Anyways, here is a perfect breakfast, french toast casserole. Sooooo good with eggs and toast.


It could be worse

A friend of mine had her father-in-law visit last week. He sounds like quite the guy. She told my mom these two stories, but couldn't get through an entire sentence without gagging.

They were all in the car driving one day. T (my friend) was in the back seat behind the passenger, the FIL*. Her husband was driving. They had just finished eating and her FIL had some food in his teeth. Let's first review the proper ways to handle this.
1. Wait until you get home and then brush.
2. Floss in the car (Kindof gross, but I have been known to do it).
3. Make that annoying sucky, slurpy sound while trying to suck the food out from between your teeth.
Her FIL unfortunately chose non of the above. He decided that, instead, he was going to take them out (he wears dentures) and LICK them clean. He sat there holding his chompers and licked all the food out. Are you gagging yet? My stomach just turned.

On another car trip in the same week, they had one of their daughters with them . She was sitting directly behind the lovely FIL. Her mom kept telling her to roll her window up. She had told her 5 or 6 times and was ignored every time. Well, FIL felt the need to hawk a loogey (I just gagged) and upon doing so it went out the front window and came right back into the back and onto the daughter. All she could do was sit there, frozen with disgust. This, children, is why you should listen to your parents. If you don't, you'll end up with a loogey on your shirt.

*FIL=Father-in-law, incase you couldn't figure it out.


Ho hum...

Sorry I have not been posting too much lately. I have not really been in the best of moods. Hopefully I can get back into it soon. My head is filled with crap-nothing fun to write about.

Don't forget my gift when you come to my pity party.


Name all 50 states in 10 minutes!

Click on the link below and start typing the state names in the little box. The countdown starts as soon as you open the web page, not when you start typing.

Good luck!