It could be worse

A friend of mine had her father-in-law visit last week. He sounds like quite the guy. She told my mom these two stories, but couldn't get through an entire sentence without gagging.

They were all in the car driving one day. T (my friend) was in the back seat behind the passenger, the FIL*. Her husband was driving. They had just finished eating and her FIL had some food in his teeth. Let's first review the proper ways to handle this.
1. Wait until you get home and then brush.
2. Floss in the car (Kindof gross, but I have been known to do it).
3. Make that annoying sucky, slurpy sound while trying to suck the food out from between your teeth.
Her FIL unfortunately chose non of the above. He decided that, instead, he was going to take them out (he wears dentures) and LICK them clean. He sat there holding his chompers and licked all the food out. Are you gagging yet? My stomach just turned.

On another car trip in the same week, they had one of their daughters with them . She was sitting directly behind the lovely FIL. Her mom kept telling her to roll her window up. She had told her 5 or 6 times and was ignored every time. Well, FIL felt the need to hawk a loogey (I just gagged) and upon doing so it went out the front window and came right back into the back and onto the daughter. All she could do was sit there, frozen with disgust. This, children, is why you should listen to your parents. If you don't, you'll end up with a loogey on your shirt.

*FIL=Father-in-law, incase you couldn't figure it out.

Gums McGummerson

Aunt Joanne: I am really nervous about going rafting tomorrow.
Moi: Why?
Aunt Joanne: I am afraid my teeth are going to fall out. (She wears dentures)
Moi: (Chuckling) Seriously?
Aunt Joanne: Yes, and it’s not funny.
Moi: Well, it is a little. Maybe you will just have to keep your mouth shut all day. (She talks more than anyone I have ever met in my entire life)
Aunt Joanne: What if I scream?
Moi: Do it with your mouth shut. What about duct tape?
Aunt Joanne: (Silence)
Moi: We can poke holes in it so you can breathe better. No? Glue gun?
Aunt Joanne: (Silence)
Moi: Fine. Leave them at home if you are honestly that worried about them.

At that point she took them out to show me what she looked like sans chompers. I would like to take this time to apologize for not having cameras in my eyes so I could post what I saw.