I've already failed as a parent

Approximate schedule before last Wednesday:
Wake up at 7:45am. Naps at 10 and 2 which she took in her crib. Only fussed for a second and then fell asleep. Adorable and smiley during the day. Barely fussed at all, if any. Bedtime at about 6 so that when the time change happens this weekend, it will be 7. I was planning ahead.
She was great sleeping through the night waking up once or twice and then going right back to sleep.

Last Wednesday to last night:
I was trying to get her to go to bed on her own. I would put her down and she would cry. I would check on her every 10 minutes to reassure her. It started to get better, then it got worse.
During the day she was always tired. Naps were messed up. She wasn't smiley and was always rubbing her eyes because she was so exhausted. Last night I put operation "cry-it-out" on hold until she is older. I went and got her and held her until she fell asleep, about 10 minutes. Then she woke up at 2:45am. I fed her and put her back down. She cried and stayed awake until 5am. Not normal. I have totally wrecked my baby.

Today, Wednesday, a new day:
She woke up at 8am and I just put her down for a nap. She fussed for two seconds and is asleep (I think). I will put her down in her crib tonight for bed and if/when she starts to cry, I will get her. I will hold her and rock her until she falls asleep. Then I will walk her up to her room and put her down. Hopefully, I will get my happy, non-exhausted baby back.

I've already failed.

UPDATE: Not asleep for nap. Screaming.

F you Simply Sleep

This past weekend a few of us went camping. I would first like to say that I do enjoy camping and I am good at it. Apparently, I do not look like the camping type. APPARENTLY, it is assumed that I am too prissy for it. Not showering for a few days? You can't handle it Lauren. Peeing behind a rock. Yeah right, Lauren. Well you know what? Screw all of you nay-sayers. I am a legitimate camper. I spit on pop-ups and people who bring tv's and "toilets". I am hardcore.

The only part of camping that I do not like is the "nature" part of it all. I mean, I like the outdoors and I love campfires and sleeping next to a river and all that. I do not like spiders, bees, bears, mountain lions, and whatever else can eat me, bite me, or sting me. This being said, whenever we go camping, I don't sleep. Like, at all. I lie awake the entire night waiting for a bear to rip through the tent and eat me, then Kenny, then the girls for dessert. Kris told me that she takes Tylenol PM when we go camping so she sleeps better. AWESOME. Why didn't I think of that? I went to Target the next day and bought some Simply Sleep. Friday night I was so excited to take it and to be able to sleep though the night. To sleep at all actually. Yeah. Right. Friday night was long and sleepless and I didn't fall asleep until the sun started to rise on Saturday morning. To add insult to injury, the girls refuse to sleep in their own sleeping bag-they totally have their own mini bag. Not 30 minutes after we went to bed, they decided they wanted to be with me, in mine. I have a mummy bag that fits me comfortably, aside form being a bit too short. Add two little dogs, and forget it. So, I stayed in my bag all night, not moving for fear of suffocating a dog, awake, and waiting for the sun to come up so I could catch some zzzz's. The part that pisses me off the most is that Kenny barely hits the pillow and he is out for the entire night.

Saturday, I said shag it and I was going to double up. It had to do something if I took twice the recommended amount. Nope. Nothing. F you Simply Sleep. Next time, maybe I will just take some shots of jager and hopefully pass out.

Weekend was fun, however 5 total hours of sleep over an entire weekend is not ok.

Zzzzzzzz

I like my sleep. No, I love my sleep. It makes me very cranky when I miss out on sleep. I am not a nap person, I don’t need 10 hours a night, but when it’s time for bed, I can think of nothing else I would rather be doing. Plus, since we got our new bed, I am obsessed with sleeping more than ever.

I am sure that those of you with kids want to tell me to stick it, but I don’t have kids. These are the days to stockpile my sleeping hours. I know they will be few and far between if we ever decide to start a family. The stupid dogs are bad enough. The other night, Hazel decided she wanted to destroy the birds outside. We were sleeping with our window open and she was just running around the room going completely insane, listening to the hundreds of birds chirping. I was up at 3am that morning. I did not go back to bed. This was the beginning of "Who Needs Sleep 2008".

These past two weeks, for some reason, I cannot get to bed before midnight. I get up for work at 6am. I have learned that 6 hours is no good. I want 8. I have been dragging myself to work, barely awake, barely able to type, barely able to speak. I usually become coherent around noon. Thank God I do not operate heavy machinery. I would be a goner for sure.

Dog down, dog down!

Does anyone else have a dog that falls out of bed during the middle of the night? Our little Clementine has done it twice now. The first time she did it, she scared the crap out of us because she started crying as soon as she hit the ground. By the way, we have wood floors which makes the "thud" that much louder (and harder). She was totally fine, but her cry made us think she was dying. So, from there, we always made sure she was in between us. That way, she couldn't roll out of the bed. I guess we forgot about that rule, because last night she did it again. This time, there was no crying-just a very stunned dog. She wouldn't even jump back up after it happened. I had to pick her up and put her back under the covers.

Kenny and I were laughing for 10 minutes.

Comfort Compromised

My bedroom is very important to me. It is my one room in the house where nothing stressful ever happens. Well, usually. On the rare occasion I wake up to one of the girls making that "I am about to throw up" noise and I frantically have to find them under the covers, pull them out and put whoever on the floor so they don't blow chunks in my bed.

ANYWAYS that brings me to my current situation, completely brought on by myself and Kenny, ofcourse. When we first got Clementine, we decided that she was going to sleep in her kennel at night. Gross. We do not want a stinky dog in our bed. Yeah, right. That lasted all of a month or so. It turned from sleeping in the kennel to letting her hang out on the bed with us until we went to sleep, to sleeping under the covers with us EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. Although, they have to be between the flat sheet and the comforter. Not under all the sheets. Moving on…

Then we got Hazel and she got bed privelages pretty much right away. The thing is, now they have decided that they both like to be between Kenny and I. So, I am on the right, Kenny on the left, and both the damn dogs in between. Last night I woke up, on the edge of my bed, with Clementine completely sprawled out pushing on me with all 4 of her paws! What the F? I am the person here. This is MY bed. It is being completely taken over by the girls! The night before I woke up to see that I was sharing my pillow with Hazel. Just her little head was on my pillow, the rest of her tucked in under the blankets like a little person. It's ridiculous.

On really cold nights, Clementine cannot get warm and feels the need to wake up, come up to my face, stare me down until I wake up and paw at my neck until I help her get warm.