The clouds told her, obviously

Mary Ann, Kenny's mom, is nuts (God love her). She was over yesterday for dinner and proceeded to tell me that she saw Delanie* being born.....in the clouds. This is definitely not the first time she has seen things in the clouds. I am relatively positive that this is a weekly occurrence. She was explaining to me that she saw a DM in the clouds, clearly for Delanie McKee. Then she saw her being born. I said, "So, you saw a giant cloud vagina? That's kindof gross." While looking at me with disgust, she told me it was more like a tunnel. Oh, and she had hair like a monk, bald on top.

In the past, she has told me that she saw half my name in the clouds, but she isn't sure what that means. I have a few ideas...

*Delanie is my soon to be niece! Monica is due any day now!

P.S. This was written out of love for my MIL. So, back off sensitive people.

A biodegradable birthday

Biodegradable Plates, Bowls & Cups

I am having a few people over for a birthday BBQ next Saturday. I was concerned about the utensils and everything that I needed to buy. You know, since I am all earthy now. My problems were solved when I found this site!

These plates are made from 100% sugar cane fiber (bagasse), a byproduct of the sugar refining process. (Supplies of this material are virtually unlimited worldwide. The use of bagasse products eliminates the dependence of traditional wood fiber-based materials in disposable tableware. Since bagasse is traditionally burned for disposal, the diversion of the fiber into the making of tableware prevents harmful air pollution.)

The potato-starch cutlery is sturdy, attractive, reusable, and suitable for hot foods up to 220° F. Because it's made from renewable resources (potato starch and vegetable oil), and because it's compostable, this makes a great replacement for standard plastic cutlery.These pieces will biodegrade within 180 days in a commercial composting facility.

To top it off, everything was reasonably priced-hooray! More money for birthday presents!

Stupid dreams, what a letdown

When someone (usually of the opposite sex) says to you, "You were in my dream last night." What does that usually imply? Riiiiiiiigggggghhhhhht. Majority of the time it means that it involved you, them and perhaps some very compromising positions. Maybe some handcuffs. Whatever. You get my drift.

I think that, perhaps, I may be the lamest dreamer alive.

I have told people that I dreamt about them and they get that look like, "Well, was I any good?" I hate to be the bearer of bad news when telling them that we just ran some errands, hung out at my house, did laundry, or went to grab some coffee. Seriously, every single time I have a "hot guy" dream, nothing happens! I am totally getting screwed. Actually, I guess I'm not.

The other night I had a dream with Christian Bale. You want to know what steamy details I have?

None.

I met up with him to get his ring cleaned.

Motorcycle weekend adventure

With the bikes

Crazy Horse

Profile of George (Mount Rushmore)

Deadwood

I have always said that I do not like doing "touristy" things when I go on trips. After this past weekend, I need to change that statement to say that I do not like going on trips and doing "touristy" things during tourist season. Late August is a great time to go anywhere because school has just started and roads trips are mostly over for the year.

We left on Thursday morning bright and early to head out to Keystone, SD. We had to drive though WY to get there. I have nothing nice to say about that state. I'm not a scientist (or engineer or whoever figures this out) but I am am pretty sure we could power the entire nation with the wind in Wyoming. I should definitely check into that. Ridiculous. Wyoming was windy as crap and hot. The wind felt like a space heater blowing directly onto me. When we hit South Dakota, the wind slowed and the temperature dropped. Which is another thing. Everyone told us that SD is hot and humid this time of year. Not this past weekend-it was in the 70's and gorgeous. We totally lucked out. We got to our hotel in the early evening and just hung out the rest of the night. It had been a long day of riding.

Friday morning, we rode to Deadwood, Sturgis, and Rapid City. If anyone decides to visit South Dakota for any reason, I strongly advise staying in the Black Hills. They are beautiful. Reminded us of Colorado actually. Sturgis, we are pretty sure, only exists for the Rally. The rest of the year, the city is run down and full of empty buildings. It was pretty gross. Granted, Sturgis was only a few weeks ago, but it was a ghost town. Rapid City? Meh. Nothing great. Deadwood was so cute. We all liked it. The whole feel of the town was great. We caught lunch where Wild Bill was shot and then rode up to the cemetery where he is buried. They had a hot rod thing going on also, so there were a ton of cool cars everywhere.

Saturday we went to Jewel National Cave where we took a lantern tour. Basically, they take you in the cave, with just a lantern, to show you how it would have been experienced back in the day. It was really interesting. It lasted about 2 hours and we went up and down a ton of tiny, skinny stairs, crouched through some openings, and sucked our guts in to get through some narrow passageways. A lot of fun. On our way back we stopped at Crazy Horse. The size of the project is astounding. If you don't know anything about it, check it out here. If you are from Colorado, the whole idea and process of CH reminds me of Bishops Castle. A crazy family wanting nothing to do with the government building something "great and significant". Great and significant takes on a different meaning when talking about Bishops castle though. Crazy Horse was really amazing and really frustrating all at the same time. The face took 10 years to complete and it was done in 1997. That is still all that is completed. I don't think I will be here to see the finished product. Shame really. After we were done there, we went to Mount Rushmore. It was about 5 minutes from our hotel, which was cool. Here's a fun little fact. All of Mount Rushmore fits into the head of Crazy Horse.

Sunday, it was time to head home. It was pretty uneventful aside from the fact that all three of us got pulled over by the State Patrol and we missed 3 tornadoes by about 20 minutes.

I never realized how much the wind can take out of a person. I am completely exhausted from the trip. The Black Hills are amazingly beautiful and it was a memorable trip to say the very least. Photos to be added soon.

On the road again

Kris, Patrick, Kenny, and I are on a long weekend motorcycle adventure! I will be sure to post when we get back!

My muddy weekend

In the Pit
Our seats at Red Rocks

After getting to bed at midnight on Saturday night and waking up at 1am and 2am, the alarm went off at 3:15am. We had to get up and get ready for the Muddy Buddy! We had to leave the house by 4am to get to Boulder by 5:30 to pick up our race packets. The race didn’t start until 7:15 and our wave didn’t begin until 7:50am. Nothing like hurrying to wait. I started the race running, Kenny on the bike. The entire 1st mile was muddy. I know it’s called the Muddy Buddy, but that is only because of the mud pit at the end. It has been raining a lot around here, so the entire dirt course was a muddy disaster. Anyways, I got to the first obstacle, completed it and went to find my bike. I almost lost my shoes numerous times because the mud was set on suctioning them off my feet. I found the bike and it was sitting in mud about a foot deep. Thanks Kenny. I picked it up and could not even push it because the mud was so thick on the tires and all gooped up around the important parts. The guys handing out water were trying to help me get the mud off so it was rideable. I would get 10 feet and it would be impossible to ride again. I decided to push it until the mud flew off enough for me to ride it. All of a sudden, the chain fell off. A very nice guy helped me get it back on. I probably moved about 25 feet and then my back tire wouldn’t move, so I was pushing dead weight. Then, an entire part of the bike broke. I don’t even know what it’s called, but it completely broke off. I tried to push it but the broken part kept getting caught in my wheel. I tried to rig it a million times, but it kept getting caught. Kenny, being the smart guy he is, knew something was wrong. I may be kindof slow, but this was ridiculous. He came back to meet me on the trail and I could not have been more happy to see him. What a relief! We did the rest of the race together with him pushing the stupid broken bicycle and me running (walking). Did I mention this happened 1 mile into the 7 mile race? Yeah, fun. We finished though. Very late. But, we finished!
After the race, I had to get home, shower, get ready, and go back up to Red Rocks to see Jack Johnson. I didn’t get home until 12:30 this morning. Incase you forgot, I woke up at 3am! Well worth it though. It was a great day, broken bike and all. Definitely one for the books.

Just to give you an idea.

These are the conversations I have on a daily basis.

Body Shop: I was calling about the vehicle that you totaled.

Me: Ok? What can I do for you?

BS: So, you notes say it it a total loss...

Me: Right.

BS: So? Is it a total then?

Me: Yep: That is what my note says.

BS: Ok.

Luxury Plush Throw

While shopping at Park Meadows this weekend, I came across this throw at Restoration Hardware. It comes in a bunch of different colors! It is the most amazing throw in the entire world. I don't think I have ever felt anything so soft! It's like those super soft baby blankets, but for us! Who wants to waste this piece of heaven on babies? Not me.

I love crazy people

I love this blog. It is one of my favorites. The lady is nuts and fantastic and hilarious. This particular one made me start to think of my own neuroses...here we go. These are just a few. Good Lord.

When I go for walks, I always tap the tips of my fingers together on the beat that I am walking and usually to a song (in my head ofcourse).

I can only have the radio and tv volume on certain numbers. I am a fan of 5,7,10, 12, 15, 17, and 20 for the radio. Usually 15, 17, 21, 23, or 25 for the tv.

I can walk into any room in my house and I will know if something is missing or was moved 1/16 of an inch. It's like a messed up game of memory. Don't mess with me if you visit and move my stuff. It will ruin my day.

I cannot STAND the smell of maple syrup, but I could probably drink a gallon of it every single day of my life.

All my clothes in my closet are organized by category and color. Shirts, tank tops, jeans, etc...I even do it to Kenny' s closet. He could care less, but it makes me feel better.

It drives me crazy when Kenny doesn't hit the clear button on the microwave after he takes his food out. Like if he takes it out with 3 seconds to go and the next time I try to see the time it says 00:03.

It disgusts me when people pull on their skin. Like, when people hang cinderblocks from chains attached to their nipple rings or just pull down on their neck skin.

That's how I roll people. Leave me alone.

The Girl in the Window

People at work were making fun of me when Christian didn't make me tear up. They said I had a heart of stone. Well, this one got me. Happy now?

This is the kind of mood I have been in

I called Kenny from work to see what we were going to do when I got home.

"We can go for a run?"

"Oh."

"Play tennis?"

"Welllll...I would really like to just do nothing."

I got home and seriously passed out for close to 2 hours.

I am typing this blog from my Blackberry in bed because I am too lazy to go down to the computer.

I have no motivation to do anything. I think of things to do, but that's as far as I get. We have the Muddy Buddy next weekend and I have not done crap to prepare. I can't let kenny down this year either because last year I totally sucked it up.

I need to be motivated-I need a nice swift kick in the ass.

One million dollars please

Kris was at our house over the weekend. One morning while we were eating breakfast, he asked if he could pay us to take Clementine and Hazel home with him. He said that they are the only dogs he really likes. He said that we did a good job training them and he would just like to take them because he knows they are good dogs. You never know what you'll get if you get a puppy. They could grow up and suck. I told him that he could have the for a million dollars a piece. He said nevermind.

Glad to know I can raise 'em right.