Where are all the manners?

We went out to dinner tonight with some friends. They go to this place often, so they know a lot of the people that work there. The owner's mother (I believe) came over to our table and started to talk to Lennon. She was rubbing her cheek with her hand. Does anyone else find this incredibly disgusting or is it just me? I don't really want strangers touching my baby, and especially not on her face. A bit later she came back with a carrot. A raw carrot. She tried to hand it straight to Lennon and I intercepted it right at the last second. No thanks, lady. I am going to go ahead and say no to the choking hazard. Thanks. Then she decided she wanted to hold her, so she picked her up and walked around with her. The woman asked me her name and then turned to Lennon and said (in a baby voice), "WOW. Why would your mommy give you that name? You don't like it, do you? Nooooo." I could care less if people don't like her name, but is it really necessary to insult it two seconds after being introduced to her?

I totally expected people to be inappropriate when I had kids. I see it all the time with my friends. But, it still amazes me when it actually happens.

Mom brain: Part deux

I have turned the corner and am now a full blown idiot. This morning, when getting ready to feed Lennon, I set my cup of coffee down on the bed. It was not an empty cup. We can all see where this is going. Not two seconds later, the entire cup spilled, soaking into the relatively new temperpedic mattress. Why would I think that a cup could stand upright on a mattress that I was sitting on?

About an hour ago, I was getting ready to do some laundry. I had on a green robe that was rather disgusting so I took it off right before I started the load and threw it in. Along with my cell phone which was in the pocket.

So now we have a new Bissell green machine (that I used to clean the mattress) and I am without a phone.

Mom brain is in full force

Wow. Sometimes I even amaze myself. My brain is no more. I heard this would happen, but I can't say I believed it really would. I have turned useless.

Three times now, THREE times, I have forgotten shoes. SHOES. Yeah, and it's winter. I could maybe excuse it if it was summer, but not winter. One time I was even in the car driving away. Completely ridiculous.

Kenny used to rely on me for important dates and events. Now, if it isn't written in the planner, I am not responsible nor does it even exist as far as I'm concerned.

This does not mean that when wanting to hang out with us, that Kenny should be your main contact. Bad idea. Keep me on speed dial for that one. As long as its written, it will happen.

At least they are the same color

I have been at work 2 hours and just noticed my shoes...

Just to give you an idea.

These are the conversations I have on a daily basis.

Body Shop: I was calling about the vehicle that you totaled.

Me: Ok? What can I do for you?

BS: So, you notes say it it a total loss...

Me: Right.

BS: So? Is it a total then?

Me: Yep: That is what my note says.

BS: Ok.

What is wrong with you?

Oh my God. What is the matter with people? I came across this today. Tell me Diva Thin Muffin doesn't sound perverted. I am in awe.

I paid for an entire seat

Kenny and I just got back from San Diego. We went out to visit Karl and Monica for a long weekend. We flew in on Thursday morning and went to a Padres game. We made our way to our seats and when I went to sit in mine, I noticed that half of it had disappeared. The man sitting next to me was very large, sweaty, and was wearing a fanny pack. How does his fanny pack fit into the story? Well, it was strapped to him and the pack was hanging in the middle of his legs.This made him sit with his legs spread eagle. His left leg was in my space. His fatness was oozing over into my seat. His arm was resting on my armrest and taking up half my seat. My hand to God, I had about 1/3 of my seat to myself. He then proceeded to wipe his hand across his face and look at his soaking hand. Sweat, tons of sweat. This man was so disgusting. He smelled like dust. He didn't move out of his seat once and had his "women" getting him hot dogs and beer. He had two women with him, very tan, very fake boobs, very makeup covered that definitely seemed to be "with" him. That fanny pack had to be filled with cash and diamonds. Why else would they hang around with him? Kenny and Karl were both very nice and asked if I wanted to switch seats with them. I stayed in the seat. I did not want to subject them to his aroma. Worst of all, the seat was actually ours! We had 4 tickets and he was in the 4th seat. Ugh.....flashbacks.

Hey fatty! Leave some for the rest of us!

I know, I really should not speak ill of anyone or anything at my place of employment, for many many reasons, but I am just so over it.
There is one guy here that is all about free food. Doesn't matter who brought it, what it is, or where it came from. He is all over it.
We have food of some sort brought in almost daily around here. I do not usually partake because I would prefer to not weigh 500 lbs. Anyways, a woman in my department brought two pies in today. Two pies for 30ish people. So, common sense would tell a person to have a small slice. Oooooh no. This guy takes 1/3 of the pie, slaps it on his plate and walks back to his desk. Seriously? What is the matter with him? Because of his stupidity, a bunch of people didn't get a piece of the apparently delicious pie. The thing is, he does this ALL the time! He can't just take one cookie, he has to take 5. A piece of cake? NO! He consumes 4. And, it's not like he takes one and comes back later after everyone else has had a chance to get whatever it is. He takes everything his little heart desires up front.

And, yes, he is a lard-butt.....and a moron, but I don't think the second has anything to do with the food.