Clever, clever boys

Whenever Kenny and I go out of town, my mom stays at the house to "babysit" the girls. I never think twice about what is going on at home, but that will now change. After our return home from San Diego, Brad informed me that we were lucky. We're lucky they (Tad and Brad) decided not to mess with us. I told him my mom was there so they couldn't have done anything, to which he replied, "She would have totally gone in out it with us." True enough, Brad.

A few of their non-executed ideas:

1. Put confetti on top of the ceiling fan blades. When we turned them on-instant party!

2. Shave Hazel and glue the hair onto Clementine.

3. Saran wrap the toilets.

4.Cut labels off of cans in cupboard.

5. Sod your patio/garage. This actually would have been welcomed-sod is expensive!

6. Change the way the refrigerator door opens.

It is so on Brad(and Tad).....

Thanks a lot Food Network

“You don’t need to tell her. I bet she wouldn’t even notice.” This is what was said 10 minutes before I walked through the door with a scrunched nose, instant headache and a scowl on my face already annoyed with Kenny. Thanks to Food Network, Kenny decided that it would be a grand idea to clean our smoker and grill racks in the oven on self clean. Three problems with that. Well, actually a million problems with that, but three that stick out.

1. Food Network said that is was ok to do if they were slightly dirty. SLIGHTLY. I don’t know that we have really ever scrubbed any of our racks. They were pretty nasty.
2. Our oven is (was) brand stinkin’ new. Immaculate inside. Those days are gone. There is currently a layer of nastiness on the bottom of the oven now and he somehow managed to make burn marks on the top of the door. Oh, and the oven racks are bent from the weight of the other racks.
3. The smell alone was enough to ruin my day.

I also heard that during the self clean process, there was a time when using the fire extinguisher was a definite possibility.

I wonder if I can sue the Food Network for a new oven? Oooh, or maybe I can get my own show? It would be some sort of show with a lot of traveling and involving desserts somehow. I would have to have a personal trainer traveling with me so I didn’t gain 1000 lbs from all the amazing treats I would consume...Sorry-I digress.

I am also not comforted by the fact that the words, “Don’t use the Dyson to vacuum out the oven.” had to leave my lips.

P.S. Will miss you already company! See? I told you there would be no Part II. You guys are so great and Henry is pretty much the cutest thing I have ever seen…he has our vote ;)

Honey, let’s wait another year or two

My cousin and her family were just here visiting from New York. They were here for about a week. Their son, Hayden, is 1 ½ and very cute. He is a great kid. I had to laugh though, because he showed Kenny and I that we are definitely not ready to pop one out any time soon.

We occasionally caught ourselves glaring at him, like we were thinking, “Grow up kid. Quit whining.”

I jokingly said, “Kenny, we cannot have kids until we can get a maid.” He agreed 100%. Seriously.

Even before Hayden left the house, Kenny started to clean EVERYTHING. He was wiping everything down, vacuuming, and dusting. Kenny does not clean unless bribed.

We have nothing in our house for kids. Nothing. No cute little plates or silverware. No toys. The poor child was playing with the dog toys half the time.

I was starting to think maybe I was ready to start a fam. Now I know......

Lisa, don’t worry. We really do love when kids visit the house. I swear!

Check it off the damn list!

Saturday morning was sprinkler and seed day. We are DONE with our yard! Now, we wait. Hopefully grass will grow. It’s been two whole days and I am annoyed that there is still no green back there. This will definitely help to teach me some patience.

Trips I made to ABC plumbing for random sprinkler parts=25,003

Times Kenny called me a F-ing retard=1

Leaks Kenny had to fix in the crawl space=3

Total number of hours our entire house smelled like poop because of the topsoil=48 and counting

Times I whined about helping=Way more than I should have

Total number of times I went into the crawl space=0 (I will not go in that place……scary)

Number of times I swept the kitchen floor=3 before realizing that it would keep getting messed up-just leave it

Times I want to redo a yard again in my lifetime=0

Number of mac-n-cheese snacks consumed from Sonic=6 (Have you tried them? They are FRIED mac-n-cheese and they are TO DIE FOR)