Friday morning, I had to take my mom to get a colonoscopy
(she will love that I shared that). Anyways, that had to have been one of the most uncomfortable places ever to place a person such as myself. Anyone that knows me, knows that I am very opposed to anything having to do with backsides. I hate my butt, think it's too fat. I have never passed gas, farted, dropped ass, whatever you want to call it, in front of Kenny for as long as I have known him (over 9 years). I don't go #2 when he is around or when he will be around any time soon. For the longest time, he would have sworn on a bible that I never did it at all. This is all kindof funny, because if any of you know Kenny, you know that he, along with the rest of the McKee boys, well, to sum it up, have some pretty foul asses. Opposites attract I guess. I digress...
This place was like my hell. Every sentence, conversation, and word spoken in that place had to do with poop, colons, buttholes, etc.....It was all I could do to sit there and act like this was completely fine for me. Around every curtain you heard people endlessly farting. I guess they puff air into your colon and so it has to come back out afterwards. It was a symphony of ass trumpets.
When they were explaining the procedure to my mom, they said that they take the scope and go through FIVE feet of her business, then, get this, they take a picture when they get to the other side. To show that they made it. What? So, they are basically comparing a colonoscopy to climbing Pikes Peak? Make sure you get a picture when you get to the top! You want proof you made it, right?
Then all I could think of is that these people work here, every single day. This is their job. This doctor probes peoples butts for a living. I guess maybe I should stop complaining about mine. Things can always be worse.
I love Kenny. I adore Kenny. I know how Kenny is when it comes to matters of the backside, and I still love him.