I can't do it. I can't go back to work. I absolutely have to go back, but I just can't. I don't want someone else watching her. I don't want Kenny watching her. I am sitting at the dentist office right now waiting for my appointment. It is Kennys first time with Lennon, alone. Is he capable? Completely. Does he have a single clue on what to do with her? Not one. He is a fantastic dad and helps out with her when he is home with me, but I am always there and I know what she needs. Before I even walked out the door this morning, she was crying for way longer than was necessary. She was hungry and Kenny was just lovingly rocking her trying to put her back to sleep. I know he will get it figured out-practice makes perfect-but I don't want him to have to. I want to be with her every day. Me.
The only way this is going to happen is if I:
1.Find a work from home job
2.Find a job where I can bring her
3.Win Powerball
Everyday I get more and more depressed about the fact that I have to go back to work the beginning of February. It breaks my heart.
4 comments:
I'm sorry. I wish I could help. I have cut back to part-time with my company as is so that I can care for Soren and we've felt it financially ... as soon as I have the bandwidth, you're the first I will call to work for me, I promise!!
Awe, I agree that has to be the hardest thing. Especially trusting that another person will be able to know everything you know about your child and be able to care for her every need. But, it does get easier you just have to tell yourself that at least she is loved and if someone else doesn't exactly know what every cry means, there is no doubt she is getting cared for. She will never starve.It may take a little bit longer for someone else to figure out her needs, but in the mean time she'll be ok:) Hang in there! I can totally relate
Thanks, guys
Move to the Fort and I will take care of her along with the boys. The boys would LOVE her!
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